My IVF Life

I have totally been neglecting this blog of mine lately. Having two kids at such young, needy ages has definitely taken over my life. I feel like there are things I want to write about, but there always seems to be something more urgent and important to do. Both kids are passed out right now, though, so I’m going to take this moment to write a little bit. 

Like I said, things are busy. Some days seem to click along great, and I feel like supermom, and then there are the days from hell where I feel like I just can’t get ahead. Today is one of those days. Quinn is sick and feeling like crap so she’s totally melting down. And then Hawkins starts fussing or needing to eat, and I want to cry because I can’t hold them both at the same time. Then I think about all the little chores around the house or tasks that need to get completed, and it completely stresses me out. How will I ever get anything accomplished?

Quinn

She’s going to be 2 in a week, and she’s got the attitude to prove it. She’s so smart and talkative, and we are completely blown away every day on what she says or does or picks up on. She can say the funniest things and can be so sweet to her brother. But she also can throw a tantrum at the drop of a hat and get completely sassy with me. Sometimes I want to break her little pointer finger off when she points it at me while yelling “No Mommy.” I feel guilty that I can’t give her 100% of my attention like I did before. I don’t know if this attitude is just part of her learning and growing, or if it’s a result of anger and/or jealousy from the addition of her brother. I just have to tell myself all the time that this is just a phase. 

Hawkins

He is definitely growing and changing. I’ve started putting him in 3 month clothes already because the newborn stuff is just a little too snug now. We are starting to get a few smiles and coos now and then which just makes life wonderful. He’s been an awesome nurser from the beginning which has made me so happy considering the awful time I had with Quinn. But we’ve definitely had our challenges with him. He’s a lot fussier than Q was and when he needs something he gets pissed really fast. He’s had a lot of intestinal issues, too, and was diagnosed with a milk/soy allergy. I’ve had to cut that stuff out of my diet which has been super hard. The other alternative is to buy special formula that is super expensive. We did a formula only trial over the weekend to see if he got any better, but I don’t know if we could tell much of a difference. So back to breastfeeding it is. I just keep hoping that in time he’ll grow out of some of this stuff. He’s been pretty good about sleeping at night - we’re starting to get some four hour stretches. Of course we’re tired, but it’s not at all as bad as the first time around. It’s like our bodies are just conditioned to lack of sleep. He also had to get a hip ultrasound last week to look for displasia due to him being breech. Luckily everything looked good so we’re in the clear. 

Overall I think things are going pretty well. Sure we have our moments, but that’s to be expected. And things will only get better as time goes on. I’m still able to get dressed and put on make-up every day. I’m able to get everybody together and out the door by myself (so far we haven’t been late to a single thing! Small victories!). We are all fed and bathed and have clean clothes and the house isn’t a complete disaster. I think this would be considered success!